Wednesday, August 14, 2013

so much, so much.

So...Annie had a followup appointment with her plastic surgeon, Dr. Goldstein on Friday. The appointment was originally scheduled for August 15 but my "mommy radar" was on high alert when Annie became more upset (crying more) when we would cradle and/or I would try feeding her. Also, I thought that her head was starting to get harder in places that were always quite soft.
Annie's appointment was at Children's Mercy Downtown and started promptly at 8am...early morning for us all! The purpose of the followup appointment was for Dr. Goldstein to feel/push on Annie's head to make sure her brain was not under any pressure AND that it had plenty of room to grow. Dr. Goldstein did his 'thang' and believed that Annie's head was just as soft as it was when he first saw her in June but wanted her to get a new CT scan to make sure she didn't have any pressure anywhere else. Lucky for us Annie had fallen asleep just in time for the CT scan but woke up right as I put her on the bed to begin. Don't worry, Children's has thought of everything...the tech called in Barbie (yes, that was her real name) to keep Annie still during the scan with light-up toys, a colorful projection screen and her Disney Princess voice. Seriously though, I don't know if we could have captivated Annie's attention like Barbie did. Kudos. After the scan we returned to Dr. Goldstein's office to get the results--he was happy to report that the top of Annie's head was indeed still wide open allowing her brain plenty of room to grow. Although the top of Annie's head was in good shape, Dr. Goldstein was concerned about the thinning of her forehead bones and had requested a neurosurgeon to come over and evaluate Annie and her CT. Dr. Goldstein informed us that although there was a neurosurgeon in the hospital, he wouldn't be available until noon (at this time it was 11:30) and asked if we would stick around...of course we said yes! We almost couldn't believe we were getting to meet the neurosurgeon the same day we had a CT scan and saw Dr. Goldstein--usually these are three separate appointments. At noon, Annie saw neurosurgeon, Dr. Hornig, and he did his own evaluation of Annie's head. He was please with her mid-face and even mentioned her "great looking cheeks!" I immediately liked him! :) After a few minutes with the whole team, Dr. Goldstein informed us that he would be going over Annie's scan again and call us early this week to let us know when surgery is to be scheduled--He believes surgery would need to happen in the next 4-6 weeks. YIKES! Chris and I are ready to get the process started but anxious about it at the same time. We know and understand that the surgery HAS TO happen but it's still crazy to think that in a few short weeks my baby will be having major reconstructive surgery. 


Fast forward a few days...Monday came and went with no call from Dr. Goldstein's office. Tuesday, however, was Children's Mercy phone call overload day. First, I received a call from Laura, our Genetics Counselor from Children's Mercy informing me that the DNA testing was back and that Annie does have Saethre-Chotzon Syndrome. I have very mixed emotions about this diagnosis. Although it's nice to have a name/diagnosis for what's going on, there are still a lot of unknowns. According to the test results Annie has a "full gene deletion involving the TWIST gene", which in layman's terms means that she did not get part of the TWIST gene from either me or Chris. Laura informed me that Dr. Ardinger (Annie's Geneticist) has requested additional testing to evaluate the gene before and after the TWIST gene to see if there were any other deletions. After this testing is completed, Chris and I will have our DNA tested to see if 1) this was passed on to Annie from one of us, or 2) it was a "random" mutation. I then got a call from Jamie, from Dr. Goldstein's office informing me that Dr. Goldstein had put in an order for Annie to see an ophthalmologist and that she had an appointment next Monday at 10:30 with Dr. Waters. The appointment with Dr. Waters will determine if Annie has any pressure behind her eyes. Jamie said that if the appointment indicates any pressure, Dr. Goldstein will most likely move up the surgery date. And to add to the above information, I got a call from Kim, Dr. Goldstein's surgery coordinator informing me that Annie's surgery is scheduled for September 24. Kim then went on to tell me that on September 4 Annie has appointments to meet with the preadmissions department, see Dr. Goldstein for 10-15 minutes and get lab work done. On September 23, Annie will have to have more lab work done and go to her pre-op appointment...it's definitely getting real! To be honest, I'm surprised that I remembered that much--Kim is going to be sending a letter with all the information/appointments and times. 

So, if the last few months haven't been appointment, information and unknown territory overload enough the next month is going be crazy! I must say, we have a great support system--family and friends have been amazing and I don't know what we would do if they weren't around. 


Ok...enough about medical stuff. Annie is starting to roll from side-to-side--she's had a few rollover moments but nothing intentional, yet. She is very observant and loves watching people talk. She especially loves watching and listening to Daddy sing silly songs! She loves baths...so much so that she'll scream when we take her out. She LOVES being held facing out to see the world. She reaches for, grabs and eats all toys. She sleeps anywhere from 4-6 hour stretches. We've even had a couple of all nighters.  She fake coughs AND is starting to fake sleep. She gives kisses and is a total thumb sucker! She is standing up on our legs. She LOVES ceiling fans--moving or not. She grunts when she wants something or we're doing something she doesn't like. I love my girl--she has such personality! 







 
 

 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Monday, July 1, 2013

shout outs and shots!

The first half of this blog should have been posted a long time ago but...you know me.

As many of you know, I gave my two weeks notice at the end of May and had to say goodbye to some really great people. Since I was technically still on maternity leave, I was able to compose a short email informing/saying goodbye to the foster parents I had gotten the privilege to know and work with over the last 14ish months. I would like to share an excerpt from an email I received from one of these great foster parents--I received this email at the end of a very emotional and spiritually draining day a couple of weeks ago and it was exacting what I needed...

Psalm 63
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me...

I have read this passage before but never has it meant so much. I received this email during a late night feeding, and as I sat with a feasting Annie in my arms, I wept. I wept in His truth. I wept in my selfishness, realizing that I wasn't giving enough of myself to Him. And I wept because God made a "professional relationship" between a foster parent and a social worker to be so much more. Because of this email and so many more like it, I would like to give all my foster homes/parents a MAJOR SHOUT OUT! I want to thank you for making my job more enjoyable, for everything you do on a daily basis, for opening you hearts/homes to children and for all your encouraging and touching emails you have sent since I left TFI. I know that I have not responded to all your emails but I cherish every one of them. Thank you.

ANNIE UPDATE:
Annie is 2 months old! Can you believe it?! She is growing like a weed. Annie had her 2 month appointment today and is weighing in at 11lbs 7oz and is 23 inches long. She received one shot and an oral vaccine--she did better with the shot than she did with the oral medicine. Go figure. I was extremely proud of her because she did all her "tricks" for the doctor...lifting her head, talking and looking around the room/at items. I realize I might be bias but I'm pretty sure my daughter is a genius. Aside from today's appointment, we met with the Clef and Craniofacial Clinic/Team at Children's Mercy last Thursday and have decided to go with them for Annie's medical care. We believe we have made the right decision but there are so many unknowns (number of surgeries, recovery time...) about Annie's medical future that we ask for continued prayer for peace and guidance in all our decisions. Chris and I received a call from Dr. Goldstein (the doctor that will be conducting Annie's reconstructive surgeries) tonight following up after last week's appointment. Dr. Goldstein informed us that he would be sharing Annie's CT scan with the neurosurgeon tomorrow and would get back with us regarding his/our next steps. Wow! I can honestly say that I have never had a doctor call me after hours just to tell me that he has looked over a test and that he would call back tomorrow after consulting with another doctor. Children's Mercy-1, KU Med-0.



*Pictures to come*


Friday, June 14, 2013

annie goes to the doctor(s)

Man, it's crazy how time gets away from you...I should apologize for taking so long in between posts but we all know that it's going to happen again, right LaShawn? :)
As many of you know, Annie was seen at the Cleft & Craniofacial Clinic at KU Med on June 7. The appointment was long (almost 2 1/2 hours) and overwhelming BUT good. The Cleft & Craniofacial Clinic is staffed with expert physicians in plastic surgery, pediatric nerosurgery, pediatric dentistry, speech & language pathology, and others--Annie was seen by a handful of these experts, including Dr. Andrews, the craniofacial doctor we first met in the NICU. We did not really get any new information, however, we did find out that Annie will have the first of many surgeries when she is 6 months old (yikes!). Dr. Andrews has informed us that he will want Annie to have another CT scan when she is 5 months old to determine which surgery he will do first. Although we trust and feel comfortable around Dr. Andrews, we have an appointment with the Cleft and Craniofaical Clinic at Children's Mercy on June 27--it never hurts to have a second opinion. 

We had an appointment with Dr. Ardinger at the Children's Mercy Genetics Clinic yesterday (hooray for cancellations!) and got information back on Annie's genetic testing. Dr. Ardinger informed Chris and I that all three test that they ran came back negative--obviously this doesn't mean much except that the genes they looked at did not show any mutations of the syndromes they tested for. Dr. Ardinger believes that Annie has one of two syndromes but needs additional DNA testing to confirm. As of right now, we will have to wait on our insurance company to approve (or deny) the additional testing. If they approve the testing it will be approximately 8 weeks before we have any results. Please pray our insurance company approves/covers the tests!
On more exciting news...Annie is 6 weeks old AND weighing in at a whopping 10lbs and 10oz! My girl sure knows how to eat! Annie has also been sleeping in her own room for the last 3 weeks or so. I thought she would have stayed in our room longer but the girl is the LOUDEST sleeper and I gave her the boot! I think it's safe to say that Annie is loud the majority of the time and comes by it naturally--she is her grandmother's granddaughter.

Annie also had some very special visitors come to see her--she is a lucky girl to have so much love!







Thursday, May 16, 2013

16 days and counting...

So...apparently I am more my father's daughter than I thought--I have procrastinated so long on this blog entry that I now have too much information to share. I hope that I don't forget anything. As my dad has reminded me the last few days, "Annie's people" need an update.

We are SO excited/blessed/nervous/grateful and filled with love to have our little girl home. Annie was released from the NICU on May 6th, four days ahead of the doctor's original schedule--she's already an overachiever. 

Before Annie was released from the hospital Chris and I met with Dr. Andrews, a craniofacial surgeon, who explained Annie's CT scan as well as her next steps and possible future surgeries/prognosis. Although Dr. Andrews was not able to give us a firm diagnosis, he was very optimistic that Annie will live a "normal" life. Our meeting with Dr. Andrews was both encouraging and overwhelming all at the same time--it's hard to hear that your daughter could have up to 10 surgeries in her lifetime, but wonderful to know that she will be able to do all the things we hoped for her, like play sports, go to college, get married, have kids and grow old. Based on the information we have now, Annie's first surgery will be when she is 6-8 months old. We'll know more details after our appointment with Dr. Andrews on June 7th. 

As promised, below are a few of Chris' and my peaks and valleys:

Peaks:
  • being able touch our daughter skin-to-skin (without gloves/gowns)
  • moving into a room on the same floor as the NICU
  • IV being removed
  • Annie moving out of her NICU room and into our room
  • Chris learning how to change a major blowout with only one wipe
  • GOING HOME!
  • knowing God is sovereign! 
  • knowing Annie will be loved unconditionally by family and friends
  • friends visiting the hospital even knowing they might not get to see Annie
  • God using Annie's story to touch the lives of others
  • being fed by our church family
  • lawn being mowed by our friends at Four Star Lawn
Valleys:
  • our daughter being transported from Olathe Medical to the Overland Park Regional NICU at only 18 hours old
  • unknowns about Annie's future (will she walk, talk, be in pain...)
  • how will we react to people's questions/looks 
  • questioning God's plan
  • sleep deprivation 
  • knowing there was something unexpected/abnormal about Annie's features--observing the nurses evaluating Annie after birth. 
This weekend was a special weekend, not only did I get to celebrate my first Mother's Day but Annie was dedicated at church. Chris and I were extremely happy to stand before our church family and profess our commitment to raise Annie in a Christian home. 

Oh, and for some pictures...













Friday, May 3, 2013

This blog was created several months back with the intention of updating friends and family (near and far) about our soon to be family of three--never did we expect that we would be sharing one so personal and real...

Annie Grace Ward arrived on April 30, 2013 at 4:53pm...weighing in at a healthy 8 lb 3 oz and 19ish inches long. Chris and I have never been so happy and scared at the same time. Although Annie is known to many as Gerti, I have decided that she will also be known as Mighty Annie...don't let her small, cute and wonderfully made body fool you! I cannot say it enough, I am more in love with her today than I was yesterday and already LOVE being her Mama.

Chris and I have truly been overwhelmed by the love and faithfulness only our God can provide. We have promised ourselves that we will continue to share our feelings (the good, bad, and the ugly) with each other, family, friends and strangers about what we learn through this amazing journey God has laid out for us. Chris and I have had A LOT of feelings the last couple of days but we are honored and ready to be the parents God has chosen us to be for Annie.


We truly believe that God is sovereign in all things, but the journey ahead will be a long one for Annie and us. While in the womb some of the plates in her skull fused together prematurely. This caused some unique physical characteristics. We are not embarrassed by or ashamed of them, but they are distinctive. Nor do we "blame" God for them. We believe that God has done precisely as He has chosen and will be glorified throughout this adventure. We want that to be our focus.

In most respects she is like any other newborn. Her fingers, toes, heart, lungs, ears, and eyes are good and seem to be developing perfectly. She cries when she’s hungry, angry, cold or when we clean her nose. She has proven to be feisty and mighty, having already experienced an MRI, a CT scan, sonograms, IVs, and various pokes and prods of the examining doctor.


Chris and I have decided to end each day with our 'Peak' and 'Valley' as we reflect on our daily lives. We hope they will be both an encouragement and prayer motivating for you as much as they are for us. More to come with the Peaks and Valleys... for now please pray for clarity-understanding/getting a diagnosis, physical/emotional strength for both Chris and me, and guidance.

We cannot thank you all enough for your prayers, love and support...our hearts are happy and filled beyond belief.

Now, for your viewing pleasure...